good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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