woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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