We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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