Me too!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
