I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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