Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
