WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
