There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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