I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
