it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
