i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
