you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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