sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
