if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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