We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
