He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
