if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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