dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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