Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
