so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize