3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm going to jail i love you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
