My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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