no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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