YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
