I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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