You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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