This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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