I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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