theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
