Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
