I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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