sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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