a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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