That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
