Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
