there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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