I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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