im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
