I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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