I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize