dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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