I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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