We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
