So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also, beer. Big fan.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
