I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
