Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
