the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
