pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
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Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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