you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
