Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
