he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize