My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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