he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
