I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
