well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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