so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize