it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
