Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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