She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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