Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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