Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
