i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
