so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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