Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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