I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my liver is dry heaving
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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