We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
