Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
