My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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