You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
