i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
